TV review jan 11 Bizarre Burials – Five

Fri tv rev jan 11

Bizarre Burials – Five

THE average funeral costs £2,600. The alternative is to do it yourself. Just check collection times with the council.

Few people realise there’s no limit on how long we can be with someone after they’ve passed away.

Wendy, for instance, drove round in her camper van with her mother’s corpse for five days. And they say the British holiday has lost its joie de vivre.

That’s not to say there weren’t complications. “She was getting in the way,” admitted Wendy. “I had to step over her every time I went to the bathroom.” They never tell you this in the manual, but if you are storing a cadaver in a mobile home, always keep it upright.

It should be pointed out that Wendy was only going along with her mother’s wishes, taking her on a journey to her final resting place.“Mother wanted a natural burial,” she revealed. “No money-grabbing priests, as she put it. Mother was like that.” I never knew her, but I’m thinking a sort of hippy Ena Sharples.

Mother’s last resting place was a nature reserve outside Harrogate. When they arrived, Wendy jumped out and began digging the grave. A shock if you were out for a stroll with the kids.

I’m assuming she had permission. Otherwise nature reserves would be full of people planting loved ones behind the bird hide.

Wendy had made a little video explaining the burial. “Friends and family can help dig,” she said. “Bring a picnic.” Nothing better than a Scotch egg and bit of trifle while watching a grave being shovelled.

The soil wouldn’t be going back on top. “She’s actually going to be covered in sheep poo,” revealed Wendy. “Some people find that peculiar. But it’s really natural.” So’s manure, but I wouldn’t want six foot of it on top of me.

“My mother’s funeral cost me nothing,” Wendy concluded. I’m pleased for her. Although if cost was the primary consideration, then surely they could have shared a tent.

Bizarre Funerals emphasised the point that , while the bad news is we’re all going to go, the good news is we can go as we want. “I’d write into my will that everyone has to dress up as me at some point of my life,” said one woman of her dream funeral. If they go as she was at point of birth it could be interesting.

Nik Reynolds, meanwhile, makes death masks of the departed. It could be the boost the Potteries has been looking for. “They’re a depository of a million memories,” he said.

Either that or an ashtray.