Timeshift: Eyes Down! The Story of Bingo – BBC4

“IT’S the early 1960s,” noted Timeshift, “and thousands are gripped by a new obsession.” Not the eye-level grill. Bingo.

“You get a fantastic adrenalin rush,” explained one old bird. “When you get near a line you’re nervous, you’re shaking.” Just watch your dentures don’t fall out.

Even now more people play bingo than watch football. Attendances are higher than church. You’d think they could adapt and combine it with calling out the hymn numbers.

Back in the day, bingo was the centrepiece of entire holidays. “If you’re idea of a good break is bingo from 10.30 in the morning to 10.30 at night,” said a Pathé announcer, “then Clacton is a dream come true.”If it isn’t then it’s your worst nightmare.

Blackpool too has a great bingo tradition. “What have you won?” an elderly lady emerging from a seafront game was asked. “I've got a cupcake money box,” she said, “and a frying pan.” And to think some people chuck money away on the lottery.

However, not everyone was a fan. “The most mindless ritual achieved in half a million years of human evolution,” thundered one newspaper (this was before Sudoku had come along).

Bingo’s popularity came from the fact that it allowed people to win prizes beyond their imagination. “We had cruises to Monte Carlo or Biarritz,” said one club operator. “These were things only the jet-set had at that time.” At that time? They still are.

And it gave women independence. “Women,” we heard, “were beginning to say ‘why can't I go out and have a bit of time on my own?’” Blimey, they’ll be wanting the ironing board putting away next.

“The husband was happy to give her a couple of quid to go with,” said one expert, “because he knew she was in a totally safe environment- there was no-one getting drunk and chatting her up.” No, a shout of ‘two fat ladies’ is rarely misconstrued as a sexual invite.

Talking of which, “it would be impossible to grow up in Britain,” claimed one fan, “without knowing a bingo call,”. Like ‘legs 11’ ‘two little ducks’, and the recently updated ’21 – key of the dole office’.

Sadly, the smoking ban put paid to a lot of halls. “Smoking’s a very big thing to bingo players,” said one ex-club owner. “It’s a nervous reaction when you’re playing.” Without fags, many were ejected for biting the table.

For some, bingo goes right to the heart. “I don’t want people crying at my funeral,” said one lady. “What I want is for mourners to be handed a strip of bingo tickets and the priest to call the numbers.”

The winner gets her gold teeth.